Exclusive: Captain Polar Preet and the misogyny of south Asian men

Much has been written about “Polar Preet” over the past few months.

How she became the first woman of colour to trek solo in the Antarctic, reaching the South Pole.

How she beat the -50-degree weather, suffering from sickness and diarrhoea, to complete her mission.

But until now we do not know some of the other real challenges she had to face.

That of a disgraceful secret we south Asians hide in our communities.

That of a culture we brothers, fathers, uncles and nephews encourage by keeping our mouths shut, never daring to challenge for fear of upsetting the bullies who call themselves our community leaders.

When she was 19, Captain Harpreet Chandi, to give her full title, joined the army reserves but never told a soul, except her immediate family.

“I knew what the reaction would be,” she told Eastern Eye. “And a week later, when I did tell certain people, I was basically told that I didn't know what I was doing. I was too young, and, yeah, I was stupid.

“Then I stayed in the army reserves. There was the same [reaction] when I said I was gonna go to university.

“I was told I won't be able to do it on my own. But at this point, I left, and I didn't really come back.

“Then anything I did, I didn't ask permission for, I just continued. When I became an officer in the army reserves, I didn't invite any family to my parade.

“It wasn't until I joined the regular army, which was six years ago, that I invited my family, and obviously, they were proud of me.”

Trailblazer

Throughout her life, Chandi has been a trailblazer. Someone who quietly did her own thing.

It is possible that she got that independence from her mother who is divorced, something still looked down upon among south Asians.

The way that some in our communities behave towards women means Chandi had to work under the radar.

“I want to say in a calm manner, rather than anger, Guru Nanak-Ji, believed in equality,” she explained.

“How have we gotten here to this place where we believe that women are not equal?

“Look at older generations, and they say, oh, this person did everything right because they stayed at home, they're happy doing that. But did you ask them? Did you or anybody even ask that person, if they wanted to do that, or if they wanted to go out and have a career.

“We can do so much, and people are breaking different boundaries.”

Captain Chaandi became the first woman of colour to complete a solo trek in the Antarctic (credit: polarpreetinstagram)

This expedition, 40-days in the Antarctic, gave her the time to realise she had strengths.

“I'm always learning from other people, and there are some people who just don't want to learn.

“It's really hard to change minds. Sometimes I think to myself, don't even get in a conversation, don't get in an argument, because you're not gonna win.

“But I just to those say to those people, just take a step back and be more open and just think about, what are the differences here?

“Like, why does that person need to stay at home? What is your actual reasoning for that? Where does that come from?”

Equality

The army captain said some people may question her race, gender and the fact she serves the British Army.

But for her, equality is about “embracing people's differences”.

“I'm not using it to offend people. I'm using it because a lot of people from my community, who have had similar experiences to me, a lot of other women of colour will have different barriers and boundaries.”

The South Polar mission allowed her to channel her anger to make sure she never gave up.

It gave her permission to analyse her core beliefs, and Chandi came up with a decision which you sense will make her life-choices easier.

As any south Asian knows, and perhaps it is not just in our communities but a global trait, those who were her detractors were suddenly the people who made her successes happen.

“I've come back, and some people act as though they've been supportive the whole time, and the reason I got there was because of their support,” said Chandi.

“The issue is when other people go on and do something that's different.

“Let's say somebody wants to go to space, you're gonna have probably the same naysayers, and I don't want to keep going in that circle over and again, and I don't want other people to have to keep going through that circle.

“What I want to say to people is, whatever it is, whatever boundary people want to push, it doesn't have to have anything to do with Antarctica, let's support them at the start.

“Let's give them some encouragement and back them and say, this is great that you're trying to break this this barrier, and we're gonna help you. How can we help you, and not just be there at the end?”

She joined the regular army six years ago.

Just before she went on expedition, Chandi got engaged. He is in IT in the reserves, and no, they have not set a date.

Lack of diversity

Just 0.1 per cent of armed forces personnel are Sikh, according to UK government data.

Senior leaders acknowledge a huge challenge to recruit from south Asian communities, especially from people regarded in India as the “warrior race”.

Chandi will spend the next three to four months “engaging with the public” – in other words recruiting? She is adamant that this is not the case.

“I'm going to be going for three to four months around different schools all over the UK, to talk about my experiences.

“They said, this isn't about recruiting, this is about engagement. It's just showing that I'm a person that has pushed my boundaries.

“I'm a woman that has pushed my boundaries. I'm a south Asian female that was pushed by boundaries.

“Yes, I'm also an army officer, and if that's something you're interested in fantastic, and even if it's not, actually, there are a lot of different things you can do in the army.

“But I'm there to talk about my expedition.”

Whatever criticisms she may have of those men who are intolerant and those women who allow the misogyny to flourish, Chandi remains immensely proud of her south Asian heritage.

“My background, my heritage, my roots are a part of me. The people who put me on the route number one was my Baba-ji [grandfather] who raised me.

“He was born in India, and only came to England when I was born, and he lived till he was 99. He was a huge part of who I am.

“I'm probably a little bit more vocal about it now, because I think it is important to talk about.”

Speaking up

Captain Chaandi completed her mission with the support of the British Army (credit: BritishArmy)

Now aged 33, just, her birthday is on 7 February, Chandi has countless emails she has not had time to read.

There may be job offers, but, for the moment, Polar Preet is happy organising and validating training for medics in the army as a clinical training officer.

“I've learnt that if you're in a certain position, you're not alone,” she concluded. “There'll be a lot more people that feel the way you do, and I thought, actually, I want to be as real and honest as possible about my experiences, because it might help other people.

“I'm not the only person who has felt like this, and there'll be other people out there.

“Obviously, you say what you're comfortable saying. I wouldn’t tell everybody everything, but at the same time, I can say to people that I'm being more honest about the experiences I've had growing up and what boundaries I've broken.

“To be honest, now, I feel that I get to choose who's in my life, which I don't think I probably would have felt that comfortable saying before, and it's important to surround yourself with, you know, people who believe in you.

“Otherwise, it can be quite mentally difficult, with the people who are still trying to stop you from pushing those boundaries.

“You get to choose who you have in your life.”