Fighting those deep feelings of loneliness

Sometimes no amount of treating yourself or talking to others is going to make you feel better.

• Priya Mulji
• 16 August, 2024

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By: Priya Mulji

WHEN the pandemic hit, loneliness was thrust into the world like a fireball. 

People were isolated in their own homes and those who lived alone were lonelier than ever before. We learned to survive on our own and became very self-reliant and independent. The pandemic seems a distant memory now, with everyone going about their lives as if isolating at home was never even a thing. 

As people get older, they move on with their lives and careers, but those living alone without partners or children feel an isolation more than ever.  

For a single person, it can often be triggering when others post Instagram stories about planning holidays, dinners at home, and dates with their partner.  

For single people who live alone, it’s up to us to do everything, including cooking, cleaning, fixing things that are broken at home and taking care of ourselves. If we’re being honest, it’s exhausting and those are the times we wish we had someone by our side.  

I work from home, but often travel to places like London and Manchester for work. On those days when you have been up since 5am and don’t get home often until 7-8pm, you feel the loneliness more than ever. You might have had an amazing work day, but you’re tired from travelling and maybe haven’t eaten properly.  

You get home, wishing someone was there with a warm greeting and having dinner ready for you. I don’t usually feel lonely, but its only when I’m tired that it really hits. 

On days when I know that loneliness will hit, I make sure I have food prepped and reach out to friends who I know will be available for a chat when I get home. This makes me feel less alone. Treating myself to a nice takeaway or a bubble bath for some extra luxury also helps. 

I also joined the Lonely Girls Club in Nottingham, which is a nationwide organisation connecting women who are in a similar position. Whether that’s other single women, new mums, or students, you can connect with women in your area and make a whole new network of people.  

In my first meetup, I met three other single ladies in their late thirties and early forties. It helped me feel like I had found another tribe. If you’re struggling to find your tribe, do look at their socials. They organise meetups and various activities. 

Sometimes no amount of treating yourself or talking to others is going to make you feel better. It’s something I am working on with my therapist, and that’s absolutely okay. If you are in a similar position, prioritise self-care, and enlist the help of friends and family when you are having your down days. 

I will leave you with a quote from Connor Chalfant, “find company within yourself and you’ll never spend a day alone. Find love within yourself and you’ll never have a lonely day”. 

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