Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Negative self-talk

by MITA MISTRY

AS A therapist, it is extremely common and normal to see people getting ‘stuck in a rut’ and unable to move forward through challenges.


When I see this happening, it’s my duty to help by shedding light on behaviour and habits that are not serving someone’s best interests. Often, thoughts are the root cause of problems.

The mind can either be a powerful friend or your worst enemy and when not in control, it is easy to fall victim to doubt and worry, leading to negative self-talk.

But what is negative self-talk? You know that niggling voice that criticises you for not being good enough? Or the one that tells you everything must be perfect? While it’s great to achieve the best you can, problems arise when your self-worth becomes dependant on reaching an external goal or a state of perfection. Too much focus on seeking validation from outside robs you of feeling your true intrinsic worth.

I will be ‘good enough’ when I am in a relationship or when I have that perfect job are examples of cravings, which are often sources of unhappiness. Mostly because attachment to them leads to social comparison, which leaves you feeling inadequate and unworthy, causing detrimental consequences to your self-esteem and self-worth.

But by challenging the perception of ‘good enough’ it is possible to shift your reality and feel more content. You see, once you think and feel something is good enough you start to question why you would want to change it. And your mind stops racing all over the place, bringing a sense of calm as you start to feel more at ease with yourself and the world around you.

This happens simply because we become more present in the moment and accepting of life rather than the desire to search for more out there in the future.

Your mind will always believe everything you tell it. So, if your internal dialogue is negative and self-defeating, you will feel like you are on a downward spiral heading for a black hole.

However, the good news is you can reframe your thoughts. Using affirmations can programme and motivate your mind to act according to repeated words and trigger your subconscious mind to accept as true what you keep telling it.

You can try it and see if it works by feeding your mind with helpful uplifting messages that make you feel good. And of course, they will have a rippling effect of lifting those around you too. Try repeating these affirmations:

‘I am good enough’

‘I am perfect just as I am’

‘I have everything I need to get to where I

want to be’

‘I have enough’

‘I am not the negative thoughts I think’

No matter how hard it seems, you are in control of your thoughts. But to break the habit of negative self-talk you need to shift the gears in your brain to replace unhelpful thoughts with nourishing words of wisdom. And it is entirely and always possible.

www.mitamistry.co.uk & www.twitter.com/MitaMistry

More For You


Coffee, a widely consumed beverage, has been associated with reduced risks of several conditions, including heart disease, cognitive decline, and chronic illnesses. (Photo: iStock)
Coffee, a widely consumed beverage, has been associated with reduced risks of several conditions, including heart disease, cognitive decline, and chronic illnesses. (Photo: iStock)

Coffee could extend healthy lifespan by nearly two years, study finds

DRINKING coffee may extend a person’s healthy lifespan by almost two years, according to a study published in the journal Ageing Research Reviews. The research, which reviewed previously published studies, concluded that moderate coffee consumption could correspond to an average increase in healthspan of 1.8 years.

Researchers from Portugal highlighted coffee’s potential in promoting a healthy lifestyle, especially as the global population continues to age. "We know that the world's population is ageing faster than ever, which is why it's increasingly important to explore dietary interventions which may allow people to not only live longer but also healthier lives," said Rodrigo Cunha from the University of Coimbra, who led the study.

Keep ReadingShow less
Focus on ultimate goal
Sadhguru

Focus on ultimate goal

A FUNDAMENTAL requirement for anybody who wishes to grow on the spiritual path is to create an undeviated flow of energy towards the one and only goal in life – to attain to the highest and not settle for anything less than that.

If there is a person who is capable of channelling himself without any break, he is a blessed one.

Keep ReadingShow less
Helpful healing wisdom
Learning life lessons from one another

Helpful healing wisdom

LAUNCHED in January 2024, the Healing Place podcast has been a journey of discovery, connection, and inspiration.

Over the past year, I have had the privilege of hosting 29 episodes featuring 30 incredible guests, each bringing unique perspectives and insights. The conversations and stories shared have been enriching, not only for listeners but also for me as a host.

Keep ReadingShow less
Surviving a credit crunch Christmas
This Christmas, find joy in simple and meaningful celebrations.

Surviving a credit crunch Christmas

THE ongoing cost-of-living crisis means many families will have to scale back their Christmas celebrations this year.

However, having less money to spend does not mean losing the joy of the festive season. In fact, it can be a perfect opportunity to rediscover the true meaning of Christmas.

Keep ReadingShow less
Muslim leaders urge communities to prioritise winter vaccines

Muslim leaders urge communities to prioritise winter vaccines

THE UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) and the British Islamic Medical Association (BIMA) have urged members of the Muslim community to prioritise their flu and Covid vaccinations to strengthen their immunity against winter viruses.

People eligible for Covid vaccinations are encouraged to book their jabs before the NHS online booking system closes on 20 December.

Keep ReadingShow less