Women in “semi-arranged marriages” less likely to experience marital violence, report says

by KEERTHI MOHAN and LAUREN CODLING

ASIAN women in “semi-arranged marriages” are less likely to experience marital violence, a new report revealed last week.

Many women in India face some form of domestic violence, and most often, the perpetrators are their husbands, a United Nations survey released last Tuesday (25) said.

About 31 per cent of married women have experienced physical, sexual or emotional violence by their spouses, it added.

However, those in semi-arranged marriages are less likely to experience marital violence compared to those in traditional arranged marriages organised by parents, according to the UN Women’s report titled Progress of the World’s Women 2019-2020: Families in a Changing World.

The concept of traditional parent-arranged marriages has been partially replaced by semi-arranged marriages, particularly in urban India, the UN said.

In such arrangements, families are involved in suggesting potential grooms, but the final decision is left up to the women.

KC Mercy, a lawyer and counsellor associated with Sreyas, a social development organisation in  India, told Eastern Eye: “Most often, in a semi-arranged marriage, women are given equal rights and they have a say in every aspect of life. There is equality in the relationship.”

Instances of domestic violence are also fewer if women are financially independent, or if they own assets such as land and housing, the report said, adding that this offers them a way out of abusive situations.

According to Mercy, one of the most common factors for domestic violence is alcoholism, and it is not restricted to those in low-income groups. She revealed she has seen doctors and engineers as perpetrators of domestic violence.

“No woman is immune to abuse,” said Mercy, adding that whenever there is an “uneven” allocation of power in a relationship, there is a chance of abuse.

Women are usually afraid to report cases of domestic abuse in fear her husband will be arrested.

Women may also worry the issue will bring public shame. Many choose to stay in the relationship for the sake of their children.

Ishika Khatri* is a domestic abuse victim. The 55-year-old has been living with her abusive husband for the past 30 years, and chose to stay in the relationship, bearing in mind her children’s future. “They won’t get good marriage alliances if I divorce my children,” said Khatri.

A solution to domestic abuse could be counselling, Mercy said. Both husbands and wives need to be taught communication methods, and how to remove aggression.

“Separation is not always the first step to solve the problem. Raising awareness is needed to weed out this problem of domestic abuse,” Mercy said.

Other key findings in the report focused on the high number of dowry-related killings in India.

According to National Crime Records Bureau research in India, female dowry deaths account for 40 to 50 per cent of all female homicides recorded annually, with little change between 1999 and 2016.

The UN report also stressed that dowry, the transfer of parental property or money at the marriage of a daughter, can “fuel violence” if the sum is not paid in full or if gifts are deemed unsatisfactory.

Speaking to Eastern Eye on Tuesday (2), Dr Navtej K Purewal noted the “sobering” evidence related to the killings.

“Violence against women persists, and even where there are laws, the systemic lack of implementation highlight the difficulties to collectively challenge patriarchal and other forms of violence, including hate crime and state, custodial violence,” Dr Purewal said.

Dr Purewal also commented on the data relating to fertility and sex selection, which showed that some parents in the region reconcile their desire for smaller families with continued preference for sons through sex-selective abortions.

By 2017, the Asian countries with abnormally high sex ratios (greater than 105 males per 100 females) in southern Asia were Afghanistan, Bhutan, India, Maldives and Pakistan.

Although Dr Purewal highlighted India’s successful downward fertility trend since 1970 (dropping from 5.6 to 2.4 live births per woman), she said it had been well documented that a by-product of this had been a heightening skew against females due to sex selective technologies.

“If people are going to have fewer children, then they are ensuring they have sons,” she explained. “The lack of any real transformative change in fertility thinking by both policy-makers and society is evident in the persistently discriminatory sex ratios skewed against females.”

Additional significant findings related to south Asia included research linked to same-sex relationships. According to the findings, no country currently in the region grants the right for same-sex couples to marry or enter into legally recognised partnerships, although India repealed a law in 2018 which had previously criminalised same-sex relations.

In relation to visas and documentation, the report revealed a married woman in Pakistan cannot apply for a passport in the same way that a married man can. Married women in Bangladesh and Pakistan could also not confer citizenship on a non-national spouse in the same way a married man can.

It also found that around 17 to 26 per cent of women aged 15-49 in India receive a wage or income of their own, meaning that the great majority of women are financially dependent on their spouses, fathers and in-laws.

*Name has been changed to protect identity